A Question of Firsts: Durian

We're all bound to ponder the questions which yield no answer, such as "if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around does it still make a noise?" or "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" And though in theory these questions do have answers from a logical stand point, they continue to create moments of zen as one wrestles with them, never truly finding an answer.

I too contemplate these questions, but my questions are questions of "firsts." For example, who was the first person to think a Durian would be a good thing to eat. If the weapon like exterior didn't look inviting enough the putrid smell should have detoured any further advances. If I was the first man to discover a durian I would have thought that they would have made wonderful weapons. With their naturally spiky exoskeleton. I would have launched them with some sort of catapult or trebuchet, or just waited in the trees for my enemies to walk past and dropped it upon their heads. Perhaps the first encounter with a durian was a near death or possibly fatal incident. Walking mindlessly through the forest, a spiny, dense, head sized object falls from the trees (nearly) smashing an unsuspecting passer by in the head. At what point during the pain and bloodshed, and not to mention pungent smell did one think, "Wow that really hurt and it smells gross, but MAYBE it taste delicious."

Perhaps the first encounter with said fruit was not as destructive and violent. It could, and probably was, a chance encounter while wandering through the forest and finding these objects on the floor. However I would have thought the smell would stop any normal person from deeper inspection. The wise comedian Demitri Martin once stated that "whenever we investigate smells it's always something nasty, it's never,'What's that smell? OH! Cookies!'" Resonating with that idea, why would you, upon discovering the smell was not in fact cookies continue to the point of thinking of "even though this smells gross I wonder what it taste like?" A normal reaction to strong and offensive smells is not to try and see if it taste good but to throw it out, which in the case of durian may have resulted in yet another head injury.

I like to think that durian and it's acceptance as a edible treat is proof that though alcohol did not exist in early human history, since the beginning of time "Truth or Dare" and like games have played a major role in culture as well as the idea that our ancestors must have been as dumb or dumber than we are to have tried things which defy logic. Here's to you, durian and the bravely stupid person who first tried to eat you.

An Open Letter to The Job Market

Hey Job Market,
Guess what, I graduated. Yeah pretty exciting, I know. After 17 years of school I'm pretty happy to be finally done. Time to get out of the classroom and put all that knowledge into practice. But I've got a bone to pick with you. You suck.

All this time I've been in school I've been told that when I graduate you'd be there for me. So I've graduated, now where the heck are you? Ok granted I wasn't the best student but I finished 17 years of boring classes, horrible teachers, and countless hours of mind numbing work so that I'd be welcomed into the "real world" by you. Even though my peers became engineers and doctors like good Asians should, I thought you, being the great American dream, would allow me to pursue my passions and reward me for my hard work. When I was kid I heard stories about immigrants coming to America in search of you, and you gave them often more than they could have dreamed. But when I walked off stage with my fake diploma and waited for you after the ceremony you didn't show up. I looked all over for you. Wandering all around, I'd see hints of you passing in a flash. I wandered the halls in search of you, but all I found was the ghost of your former self.

It seems like I'm not the only one being disappointed by you. Apparently you've been kind of a jerk to all my friends. You see them across an open room at a party or a bar. You lock eyes. You seduce them with your sultry words of job security and 401Ks. Hook up with them for a month or two and you guys have a blast. Going on vacations and investing in your "future" together. You give them the royal treatment, starting an addiction for a life that you know they'd never have without you. Then all of a sudden you're gone. You don't call or visit and they're out in the cold with nothing to show for your time together. Not cool.

What happened to you? You used to be the responsible guy. The reliable and loyal friend that we worked in hopes of seeing one day. But now, well just look at you. I feel like all this time you've been feeding us lies. We've jumped through all your hoops. Taken the SAT prep courses to get into the good colleges. Do you realize that there's SAT prep for 7th graders? 7th graders! They won't have to take that test for 4 years and yet they're stuck in classes which eat at their souls each and ever Saturday. We've invest hundreds of thousands of dollars to acquire degrees from prestigious universities in hopes to impress you and show you how hard we've tried. Some of us even majored in things we know we have no interest in because we thought that even as our hearts whither into crumpled vestiges of our hopes and dreams you'd look upon us and see that all we want is your approval. But after all that we've done for you, where were you after we completed your herculean trials. Did we not spend enough money trying to complete the needed units? Did our dream crushing majors not inflict enough pain on us? Have we not wasted enough of our childhood, trying to achieve near impossible feats? What more do you want from us?

All we wanted was for you to be there for us when we finished our time in lecture halls and labs. And even now I think I speak for my generation when I say we'll put this all behind us if you just show up and give us the reward we worked so hard toward. Look we've both made mistakes in these past years, but lets let bygones be bygones and move on. I guess my intent isn't to make you feel bad for the things you've done but let you know that we'd love to have you back. It's not that we hate you for letting us down, or lying to us about what we need to succeed. And it's not even that you've been cheating on us with Recession. What we want is just for you to come back. So come home J.M. We miss you.

Love,
The Class of 08&09

Flash Back?

I'm surprised more people haven't made the connection. Click the pic to see the full image.

Down Down Down

Drown-

Some call it going under.
Others say it's being buried alive.
Either way, I start to wonder
if all of this has become too much.

Some fight through and manage.
Others rely on outer strength.
And here I sit with an advantage
of hind sight, they say it's 20/20.

I can't begin to explain the feeling.
Like I'm choking in a sea of fire.
All this world has got me reeling,
and I wonder if there's a light.

I haven't much to offer
In terms of how to calm your woes.
All I can say is stay on your rocker,
and we'll ride it out, as it goes.



No apologizes, just words. It's cathartic. Have a good weekend. Hopefully I'll be back by next week. Comment on the last post please! Thanks!

Do Adjust Your TV Set

I've been trying to keep up with the latest Screen Actor's Guild (SAG) news. Since being denied a internship due to the "impending strike,"I've been watching the SAG updates quite carefully. I've discussed with some people the possibility that TV could once again take another screeching halt mid season. Now with all politics aside, what does this mean to the average viewer? It means that quite possibly, we'll get hit with another horrific round of "alternative programing." Or as it's more commonly known, reality TV.

As a writer and self proclaiming media connoisseur I absolutely can not take another season of mindless dribble. Despite the fact that much of current programing is almost as bad if not worse than Reality TV. To take from SNL's example "One OC Gossip Tree Creek." (And yes I'm going to call you out, Gossip Girl). I hate the fact that at the heart of "Reality" TV there is no reality at all. The original, Survivor? Honestly I can't remember the last time I was placed on a desert island with twenty other people and had to compete in games for immunity from getting me off the island. Beauty and the Geek? I have never been paired up with outrageously simple minded girls in a challenge to find out if I could change my nerdy ways and become more than just a geek. Amazing Race? No I don't remember being dropped off in some remote part of the world with only a few hundred dollars worth of local currency in a race against other couples to be the first to get home. The closest thing I could think of that would even slightly resemble true reality is Big Brother, and even then I normally have the freedom to leave my house when I please and I don't think I've ever held a massive 20 person non stop sleepover. But the kicker on all these? I've never been given $50,000.

Take this whole contemplation of possible Reality TV overload and add a dash of "oh shoot I haven't updated my blog in...I don't even remember how long," and you'll arrive at my current state. As I rolled around these two ingredients in my mind and tried to wrestle with possible blogging topics I found myself thinking about making my own reality TV show. The premise of the show? Well I'm glad you asked. It's called "Why are you watching this?" Basically what I'd do is just film little clips out of my day, add a little "ASF-esque" humor and present it to you, my readers. You can call it an experiment in true "Reality" TV. Now I'm not entirely sure I want to do this, seeing as my readership could possibly take a major down turn, it'll also take a bit of time, and the fact that my life really isn't that interesting. But the one major deterrent is the camera itself. In any case, I present to you this option. I know you all aren't really that fond of commenting, as I can see by the minuscule responses to my blogs, but I'm asking you the reader for your help. If you'd like to take part in this experiment to see what Reality TV should look like, post up and let me know. If not, post up and explain why I shouldn't. If I get enough help in deciding, you might see a new internet phenomenon start up and know that you took part in making it happen. Though that's not really likely to happen. But if you would please help me out by voicing your opinions. Thanks a bunch for your help! COMMENT!!!

Iconography and Morality

I don't know why, but recently I've noticed quite a few people with nose rings. Most of the times it's girls (which in and of itself is kinda weird). Now I'm all about self expression. If you want to get a tat, I'm all for it. I'll even take you if you want me to come along. If you want to pierce your ears, go for it. If you want to brand yourself (some of my friends have done this) be my guest. But my major problem is with nose piercings (specifically nose rings) and perhaps due to my major and my understanding of iconography.

For those that don't know iconography is basically the meaning behind symbols or icons. Having said that, nose rings hold significance in iconography. You see, in iconography a bull which has a ring in it's nose is actually a castrated bull. Having this understanding when I see girls, and especially guys, with nose rings it makes me not only think of bulls, but more so makes me question the person's intelligence. Is that wrong for me to do? Which got me thinking.

If ignorance is bliss, which I suppose in this case is really true, does it mean those that are more informed lose their rights to criticize those that are ignorant? Not solely for being ignorant, but rather exposing their folly? Now keep in mind that I've never informed those about their mark of castration, but the question begs to be asked, should I tell them?

If the right thing to do is inform them, then the question must be applied to others as well. For example there's two guys playing pool in front of me with cut off tshirts, and to be quite blunt they look ridiculous. And yet part of me assumes that they probably think they have the guns to pull it off, which sadly is not true. Would the right choice be to let them continue in stupidity and DB-edness or to inform them of their clear mistake?

In any case, I feel as though it's only appropriate that if one was to continue in ignorance, those in the know maintain the right to scoff behind their backs. I'm not saying we should laugh at their misfortune, but I feel as though we should be given the option to, after all is it our faults that we are better informed?

Bored/Board

I was sitting in the dining hall of Pine Summit Camps, when the topic arose of the board game. As we discussed various board games the questions came up as to what constitutes a board game.

One person brought up that a board game should consist of a board. This would rule out games such as Chicken Limbo, Crocodile Dentist, and Mr. Bucket. However it seems that you could play the games on top of a board, but due to the fact that it does not in fact involve the board, it could not pass as a board game.

Now having stated that, the question of whether Don't Wake Daddy or Mouse Trap would be allowed to join the ranks of games like Monopoly and Life. It seems that though most of the action takes place on top of the board, the board is an integral part of the game. This then brought up Hungry Hungry Hippos and Crossfire. Where though there is a board involved, most of the action does not involve the board itself, as the board functions mainly as a means to contain the rest of the game. If you think about it in this light, then it seems more like a box and not really a board.

Which then brings to question the very game that caused the debate, Operation. You see Operation takes place on a board like object that seems more like a box. But despite it's box like appearance it seems as though it functions much like a board, where pieces rest on top. So what then would Operation be? On top of that, would Twister be considered a board game? If not due to the board like mat, what about the spinner board? And so the great debate of our generation continues.

Short Post

I'm sorry. I know you're still here. I haven't forgotten. No worries, the school year has just kicked in, which means more procrastination, which means more post to come! Hang in there.

After tagging some 40 some pictures on facebook, I came to a rather interesting thought(or at least in my mind at 2 in the morning). If aliens or terrorist were to infiltrate social networks and view our pictures and interest , I feel as though there would be three options as to what they would think:
1)The American teen/young adult culture is quite complex, despite being ridiculous.
2)What's wrong with their faces?
3)What a waste of time.

Be back soon!

Ninja Bear

In Japan, there is this black bear named Claud who is becoming a national attraction. I could explain more but I think Claud would just like to show you what he's got. So without further delay here's Claud.

Oh, side note the editing is hilarious.

So Cal and "The"

My Nor Cal cousins were in town this week, just to hang out a little bit. Now, anyone that has ever spent some time living in California knows that Nor Cal and So Cal are very different places. Every time I visit my cousins up north I feel as though I'm in a different country. Well, to the extent of, say...Canada, cause at least they still speak English. However it seems that though California as a whole is very much the same, in the grand scheme of things, it comes down to the small details that make the biggest difference.

Case in point? "The." "The" is possibly one of the most over looked words in the English language, surpassed only by letters of shorter length such as "of" and "a." Despite this fact "the" has the ability to differentiate a So Cal-er from a Nor Cal-er. Down here in So Cal we refer to every freeway with the prefix, "the." The 110, the 405, the 710. Nor Cal natives on the other hand, negate the "the." Stating 110 North, or 210 West. Often times Nor Cal-ers will ask me why we include the "the," and honestly I'm not sure. I know I don't consciously add the "the." Nor do I feel any need not to allow for it. So why the "the?"

I have a theory. In Southern California, the car culture is one of our major trademarks. Therefore it seems to follow that our freeway system would be very important to us. And a way to denote importance, from a literary standpoint, would be the addition of "The." A great example of this would be Samuel Johnsons' The Life of Shakespeare. Johnson is the only writer to put "the" before his edition of The Life of Shakespeare, telling others that his account is the truest and most accurate. Though "the" may add importance and promience, it does not assure inerrancy, so you can deciede whether Johnson's version is best. In any case for So Cal residents the 110 or the 5 maybe their very livelyhood, and thus requires some recongition.

No matter what the cause maybe for the addition, it seems as though "the" will not soon leave the freeway system in Southern California, and it's just another coloquial feature that gives So Cal residents their own identity.



















Improper Usage of "the"

Technology and Children

On a recent trip with Jenn, I observed a young child waiting for his prescription. Sitting in his seat, he turned around to find a lady who was on the phone. The little boy looked so confused and a little scared to find that she was not holding a phone. She was using her bluetooth headset. This got me thinking.

In the near future (July 1st people) CA law requires everyone to use a hands free head set while using their phones in the car. With the increase of bluetooth head sets, I wondered if children will soon see hundreds of adults "talking to themselves." Or better yet, they might think that the adult is talking to them. In someways I wonder if there's going to a increase in childhood trauma, when a toddler walks around with their parents to find so many people just chatting with the air around them. I know for a fact that if bluetooth was invented when I was a child I would have been a bit more paranoid of crazy people.

A question. How does he press the answer button? I've actually been driving a few times on the 134 and seen someone wearing one.

Much More Than Just a Toy

I said it once, and I'll say it again. I like toys. A recent fascination has been the Munny and Dunny series put out by KidRobot. The simple DIY Vinyl toys are just so fun to own. But really I fear ever doing anything aside from making clothes (which won't damage the actual vinyl of the Munny) for my little guy. However recently I've been getting into the Munny Zipper pulls. They're made to be attached to zippers or used as key chains, but they have one major flaw. The clasp which they use to attach to things is far too small for many things. With a little creative brainstorming and unfortunate blind box assortment, I ended up creating a couple things out of these zipper pulls.

There's a 1 in 25 chance to get a plain Munny with no accessory and just differing colors. Jenn got a green Munny with a fedora. How awesome is that? That's 2/25. I on my first try, got a yellow one. Not bad, not great. My second try maybe a month later, got another yellow Munny. What's the chances of that? That's insane and rather upsetting. Finally after my third try I got a black Munny and this is what I made out of the three. I can't seem to find my other camera in which Jenn's accessory was taken. Anyhow hope you enjoy it.


A set of Munny earrings. And cellphone charm.

A Thousand Apologizes

I know, I know. It's been almost three weeks since my last update. This is due to the fact that I've been busy moving all my stuff from my apt. back to my house. Trying to condense a flat into one room is a pain in the butt. However. I'm hoping to finish up cleaning up and stuff by this week. So fear not, randomness will ensue. But for now enjoy this comic from Least I Could Do which pretty much summarizes my feelings for this past week. As a thank you to they guys over at LICD, here's a little plug. It's a great Webcomic, and actually updates regularly with no wait. However be warned there are sometimes more "adult" themes. But overall it's pretty tame, and I recommend it.

Can't read it this small? Click it to enlarge.

3 Days, 3 Papers, 51 hours, 25 pages.

You must forgive me for the lack of updates. It's finals week this week, and despite my efforts to clear up my week, I've only just hours ago finished up my last paper, ensuring for at least 3 days of fun. Any how, I'll return next week (as I'll be moving out of the 109) and give you some much needed absurdity. In the mean time, how sad is this? Click the pic for a detailed view.
Edit: How timely. Over at Stuff White People Like, they too have posted about the wonder of bumper stickers. Take a look, it's worth the read.

Fold or Crumple

Do you fold or crumple? Though it seems a matter of preference in regards to cleaning your posterior, it is in fact much more than just that. To fold or crumple is not a question you should take lightly, for in this outwardly simple question lies many crucial factors.

The Wipe:
It seems logical that the fold would serve as a more efficient method in cleaning. If you spilled some...chocolate syrup on your counter, would you crumple the paper towel before wiping it down? Or would you try and use as much surface space as possible, meaning leaving it "open," rather than bunched in no particular method. I dare say we would all leave it open. But while considering the surface space, one must also take into consideration the thickness and how that effects one's choice.
Winner: Fold

Ply:
It seems here that, at first glance, the crumple method would provide the user with the most distance between their fingers and the...things which need to be wiped. 6 squares can be crumpled to give you anywhere between 1/2 an inch to maybe an inch depending on the method of crumpling. But when you think about the distance, after careful deliberation one must decide if distance out weighs the need to "get the most" out of a roll. If 6 squares can give you, say 3/4", but 3 squares can give you enough thickness to get the job done, do you use double the amount for the extra distance? With that question in mind one must consider the ply count.
Winner: I say a tie due to outside circumstances, but if you must have a winner I'd say crumple by a nose.

Comfort:
Ply doesn't only determine "hand safety," but it also determines the comfort level. At school it's 1 ply (supposedly it's 2 but if you count that as 2 then you must be referring to rice paper) At my apartment it's 2, quilted. Now at school with a stiff, non-quilted single ply, when crumpled you maybe faced with some rather ridged and sharp edges. However when folded, one is given a more comfortable feel. If you have a 2 ply, quilted I would assume that both have about roughly (no pun intended) the same comfort level.
Winner: Fold, as it maintains comfort despite the change in ply

Disposal:
Though comfort plays a major roll there is one final category that we'll go into, and that's disposal. You maybe saying to yourself at this point, don't they both dissolve in the same place? Yes, however I feel as though there are other factors to take into account. The toilet in my apartment is a bit slow on the flush. This is could have two different causes. 1) The water entering the bowl is being blocked, thus not allowing the content to be flushed out quickly enough. 2) There is a blockage in the pipe, causing the water to exit slower than in a non-obstructed pipe. Now my question is this. Which would prevent clogging better. A hasty conclusion might declare the victor, folding due to the smaller size (given the height of a crumple). Though this maybe true I thought about the ability to create a blockage that would require a snake to break through. One would think that crumple would cause a blockage easier. This maybe true, however I think given the structure, with the gaps within the crumples, I would think air bubbles would form making the overall structure of a crumple more flimsy. Folding however allows for the wall (if stood up vertically) to be rather thick, 2 ply, quilted, and 3 squares deep, thus giving it 6 plies. Now multiply by how many folded "bunches" used each visit, and multiply by trips per week and you'll be able to figure out the thickness of a blockage.
Winner: I think it's a draw, as crumpling has the ability to clog easier as the diameter of a crumple is greater than that of a fold. But the fold can create a thicker blockage.

The Winner is...
Fold, by 3 to 2. Not only is the fold more comfortable, it also is an efficient cleaner, and potentially has a lower chance of causing a clog. Though this is very official and by all accounts fold is obviously the better choice, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. So start commenting!

All American Summer

My mind is pretty much fried. I'm ready for summer, though the weather could wait, or at least gradually work it's way up to triple digits. Come on it's only April! And so due to the heat, and total lack of motivations I bring you this ridiculous mini post.

This guy is just embarrassing. For those that have found their way over to this blog from my old xanga, you guys know how I feel about this guy and the "return of Gladiators." I have no words to describe this...Gay-diator.

Embarrassing, just embarrassing.

Breaking Rules and Japanese Awesomeness

The first major rule to writing a good blog is to not reblog. Don't post others stuff. Not really because of plagiarism but just because if a blogger was to do that they'd cover ground that has been covered before. However I've decided to break that rule, due to the supreme awesomeness of what I'm about to share.

The Japanese are known for their crazy inventions which seem to serve very limited and specific purposes. Case in point the cat mop, or the full body umbrella. However a Japanese designer has managed to develop, what I can only describe as a security device, which mimics old time cartoon techniques.

You may remember as the witty mouse scurried about the marketplace, in hopes to avoid the cat in chase he would often find refuge in a clay pot or potted plant. Now when you are being chased by someone you're able to disappear in a row of vending machines.


























How awesome is that! There are actually quite a few "devices." A backpack which can unfold to become a "fire extinguisher" or a purse that looks like a manhole cover so when you're being chased you can throw it away from you and the pursuer won't know where your belongings are. Japanese have the best "inventions."

On a Horse With No Name

I've returned from the deserts of Arizona. It was an insanely tiring, yet enjoyable trip. With 13 archers packed into two vehicles we set off at 5:30 Friday morning to Phoenix, Arizona. There's tons of details which I could share with you, about scores, distances, and PR's but I doubt you'd want to hear about them, so I'll share with you all just a few pictures of worth. Enjoy!

Embrace the Elf Within

I'm off to Phoenix, AZ tomorrow bright and early. I'm so not looking forward to that, as I'm not a morning person at all. It's a pretty major archery event, and we've never shot that far as a team at all. Half of us are competing in a full FITA event which has us shooting at 90 meters, while the other half are shooting a 900 round which is shooting different distances varying from 60 meters to 40. Now to give you an idea of how that changes things, we normally shoot at 18 meters and I can get a grouping of about a grapefruit on a good day. We've been practicing recently on a 70 meter range, and I now get groupings about the size of the target, which is roughly 4 feet in diameter. So I'm not expecting to bring back any medals or anything. In any case, I wanted to let you guys know that I'll be back next week with a photo update of Western Regionals. Until then.

Facebook & Preferential Friendship

I've had a Facebook account since my freshman year of college. Back then it was only for college students (as a side note, I wish that it still was). In the past four years they've expanded to literally allow everyone and their mothers an account. Case in point, my cousin's mother has one. With each new addition, Facebook users of old, put up resistance to the MySpace like changes that seem to pop up left and right. The changes that have occurred, and Facebook's slow transformation into a more organized Myspace, is a topic all it's own. Having seen the outrage and controversy created upon adding mini-feeds, Facebook, has tried to redeem itself by adding more and more security features which seem to progressively get more complicated and specific. With more security features comes the opportunity for what I like to call, preferential friendship, or limited friendship. Let me explain.

I've received quite a lot of application invites, and honestly I'll ignore 90-95% of them. Recently I noticed that not only can you block all invites for a specific applications, but you can now block invites for specific people. How specific must we make our security options? I think the next step would be to block all invites for a given application, by a specific person. Sorry Kenneth, but I will no longer allow you to ask me to use the potted plants gift application, however if someone else was to offer me a potted plant, I might just accept.

Facebook recently upgraded their privacy settings to allow you to break down each section to allow or block others from viewing, think limited profile, but you have to specifically state who can view what. So if Jonathan wants to befriend you, you can show him only your general info and nothing else. But you could show John only your pictures and nothing else. Which makes me wonder. Is Facebook creating preferential friendship?

Another point of interest is that random people tend to try and befriend others that they often don't know, or at least don't know well. This isn't that shocking as I'm guessing many of you have gotten that Friend Request notice and thought, "What? I don't even know this person." So the question is this; do you befriend them and place them on a specifically restricted profile view, which allows them to know what your name and birthday is, and that's the extent of your "friendship?" Or do you ignore the invite all together. I've chosen to do both. Firstly I've placed a handful of people on restricted profiles, each person who has that view, has these limitations placed on them due to different reasons, not really close to them, don't trust them any more than I can throw them, or the like. I also have a handful of Friend Request sitting in the inbox which, in all honesty, I probably won't touch for months on end. They too are sitting in limbo for different reasons, but mainly cause I don't consider them my friend or acquaintance. Some of them, I honestly have never said two words to them.

In any case it seems that Facebook has transformed the word "friend" into something indistinguishable from "random guy that I know." It's created a class system for the 21st century, where the middle class is no longer, upper-middle class, middle-middle class, and lower-middle class, but "Friend. Friend who can't see my pictures and wall. And inbox dwellers."But after all what really is a "friend?"

*Picture care of AppleGeek Comics