Queen on the Scene

TMZ recently reported about a lady who they call, Queen on the Scene. She's one of the most well connected people in Hollywood. She has one of the biggest Rolodex in all of tinsel town, but you're probably thinking, "I've never heard of this lady, what is she in?" QS isn't a movie star, or a recording artist and yet she calls many celebrities her friends. Despite her ties with the rich and famous, she's quite far from celebrity status. Queen on the Scene is actually a homeless woman, who calls the streets of Beverly Hills her home. She has befriended many celebrities and they, in some ways, treat her as a friend. She'll hug them and talk with them, just like they were average people. A very interesting dynamic that their "friendship" has is the protective nature of QS. She threatens paparazzi, "doesn't do cameras," and will " kick your ass if you don't" get out of her way. Due to her hostility, unpredictable nature, and total disregard of normal social fears, ie some one calling the cops on you, the celebrities end up getting free protection.

Which got me thinking, perhaps celebs should rethink their security methods. Instead of hiring a bodyguard, or security detail, could it be the answer to photog protection is the "residentially challenged?" I can just see it now..."Are you an C list celebrity in need of some protection? Tired of the paparazzi always in your face? Is your current body guard not providing the adequate protection you desire? Well the answer has arrived, and you need not look any further than on your street corner, or local 7-Eleven."

Just think, if celebrities would befriend those they met on the street, they would instantly gain protection where ever they went. My original idea was to have celebrities hire one or two homeless people to protect them. To go with them where ever they went. Of course their services would have to be repaid, most likely through food and housing. The only problem is, you have just hired a bodyguard in the more traditional sense. To avoid this easy slip into normality, I suggest celebrities do not simply pick one homeless person, but rather create a network of hostile, slightly unstable, homeless people with a love for celebrities, and befriend them. Clearly in the video I linked, you can see that QS was able to keep the TMZ photographer at bay, and so in theory if you were friends with a dozen or so QS-esque people throughout the city, you could easily keep the shutter bugs away. It's just that easy. Make friends with vicious, home impaired individuals throughout the city, trading food and clothing for friendship and crowd control and you've got the new wave of Hollywood personal security. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Come on, isn't that what all symbiotic relationships are about?

On a totally unrelated thing, thanks to Jennifer (I'm guessing Lee) for posting our first comment!